Pick Up and Go

Packed a bag this morning, off to find some peace and quiet. 

Sometimes all you need is 24 hours to figure out what you need to do. 

I know what I need to do.

I'm starting my turnaround now.

:)

Wish me luck,

Bye Bye

xo

.a.

How long does it usually take for wishes to be granted after you speak to the stars?

I wouldn't say I've hit rock bottom....because I really haven't. Things have been much, much worse.

But I think I'm starting to crack. Take out the 'think'. I know I am. If ever there was a downward spiral...this is it. Here. Somehow I jumped in and I've just been spinning. 

I'm slowly losing everything I had such a firm hold on, and it's making me go insane.

I'm not who I used to be. 

Although I feel wiser...the decisions I've been making are constantly proving to be the wrong ones. Disappointing results in every aspect of my life. 

All I need is a little boost of positivity. Then I can start correcting all the mistakes I've made. Turn everything around. 

I have spent the last 5 days surveying my life. Wondering where I went wrong. The trace got lost somewhere between early 2007 and late 2008. 

Fortunately for me it wasn't just one big mistake that caused me to become who I am. It's been several...and that's why all this is hard. Because I can't figure out what triggered what.

Have I lost you yet? I don't doubt it.

Remember, this blog is based on whatever is in my head. I really don't think before I write things down..it just comes out. Most of the time, it's nonsense.

Anyway-

As I sit here attempting to figure out what to do with myself, I can only hope that something good happens within the next week. I need a turnaround.

Funny thing is this:

I spent 2 weeks in a world I loved, a world I quickly fell in love with. 

Within moments of stepping out of that world, I resented the old reality. I didn't want to come back. 

I'm already itching to leave again.

-a-

"maybe someday we'll figure all this out, 

Try to put an end to all our doubt,

Try to find a way to make things better now,

Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud, 

We'll be better off somehow, Someday"

 

blinded and bound...sounds raunchy! haha

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Stepping stones

Getting to where we need to be

All so slow

That's the way it's always been

Holding on

By a love-bound heart

to unbinding words

memories binding, it's blinding

I'm so blind

Rip the threads

Cut the strings

Please do anything

No more holding on-

I can't do it anymore

Heal me with painful words

I'll be fine sooner than later

In a place I've never been before

Get me out of here

Get me over you

..You've got to

Looking out to foreign mountains

Air so clear

But I can't breathe

Suffocating 

In anticipation

Swallowing back tears of such frustration

Building up the courage to

Simply walk away from you

with memories binding, it's blinding

I'm so blind